Making the decision to have children – whether of your own or through adoption or fostering – is a big one, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. There are lots of different factors to take into consideration, from financial stability to age and emotional maturity. On the contrary, one aspect that shouldn’t be influencing you is external pressure from your family or society in general. Ultimately, no one apart from you and your partner can decide when it’s the right time to have children – or indeed if you want to have them at all. However, the following considerations will hopefully be useful in guiding your thinking on this exciting and life-changing decision.
When you both want kids for the right reasons
There are lots of reasons why people feel a desire to have children, but it’s important to make sure that yours are the right ones. For instance, if you’re thinking of having kids because your parents are pressuring you to do so, because you think it will fix your relationship with your partner, or because your partner wants them even though you don’t, you might want to reconsider.
Talk openly with your partner about why you want children to ensure that you’re both on the same page. It’s also sensible at this point to discuss other issues related to how you want to raise your children if you do have them so that any potential problems can be identified and dealt with early on. Likewise, it’s important to ensure that your own relationship is stable and loving before bringing a child into it.
When you’re financially ready for kids
It’s no secret that raising children is expensive. From food and clothing to childcare and toys, there are a lot of costs that will quickly add up. As such, it’s important to make sure that you are in a comfortable enough position money-wise that you can afford to have kids. That includes having a home with enough physical space to raise a child, too. As part of this, it’s also worth looking into what your companies’ policies are on maternity and paternity leave to help you better prepare. Bear in mind that if you choose to go down the route of fostering children with the FCA, you will receive an allowance to help you cover the costs.
When you’re emotionally prepared for kids
Having a child is a huge responsibility, and you must be prepared to always put your baby’s needs before your own. As such, you should make sure that both you and your partner are ready for this commitment. There will inevitably be sacrifices you have to make – for example, many sleepless nights and a lack of social life in the early years – so a degree of selflessness and maturity is vital.
You must both be responsible people who can cope with the demands of raising a child, from the extra household chores to disciplining your son or daughter when they misbehave. Remember, you can always talk to friends who already have kids or read parenting blogs online to get a better idea of what the reality of parenthood is like before making your decision.
Krishan Jangir