For centuries, philosophers and common people have been trying to pinpoint what exactly comprises a lasting, healthy relationship. Some theories and attitudes have been changing over time, but some remained the same and stood the test of time.
In all truth, there can’t be one general philosophy that will lead to a long relationship but it certainly contains some essential factors.
The philosophers’ viewpoints
We form various types of relationships, where only rare ones will turn out to be long-lasting and strong. We aren’t talking just about a romantic relationship here but also about relationships between close friends. These are also very complex and sensitive relationships that shape us maybe as strongly as our romantic relationships do.
Aristotle said that human beings need close friends to get to know themselves better and to improve and evolve through their friendships. Similarly, Lao Tzu believed we become strong when we are deeply loved but we also become brave when we love deeply.
However, every deep loving relationship demands equality and balance to last, Aristotle said. There will be periods of inequality between two persons in a strong relationship but the secret of an enduring relationship is to find the balance every time it happens.
Perfect relationships, whatever type they may be, demand a lot of effort and patience but they have to involve two like-minded people. Otherwise, the clash is inevitable at some point.
Some celebrities are comfortable with sharing their thoughts on long-lasting relationships, especially romantic ones. They base their opinions on their experiences, failures, and mistakes.
For example, renowned Hollywood actress Susan Sarandon recognizes the fact that we all constantly change throughout our lives and that we need to consider that change when it comes to maintaining a long romantic relationship. We are not the same people at the age of 20 and 40. We accumulate our experiences and we will be required to adapt at some point if we want a certain relationship to endure.
The actress believes that two people need to constantly evolve together, facing challenges and finding solutions for them. Life is ever-changing and ever-evolving, which, consequently, means our close relationships will change too, because people change.
The actress highlights the necessity of making a distinction between important things and details. To have a lasting relationship, both persons need to know what their moral basis is and who they are in their core. It’s important not to betray that moral basis. Everything else, including who takes out the garbage or what nationalities the partners are – it’s just minor details.
Sarandon also states that being in a healthy, safe relationship that will endure means feeling comfortable to discuss everything and not to be afraid to talk about your fears, attitudes, and desires, whatever they may be. It’s the lack of honest communication that destroys a relationship eventually. That’s why it’s important to stay honest, especially if you’re looking for love on dating sites like Blue Label Life – if you are not willing to be honest with yourself and the other person, you are destined to fail in the end
Similarly, various psychological views on how to have a lasting relationship include the factor of time-investment and commitment by both partners. Partners need to commit to each other on a daily basis, not just when something major occurs. Of course, not every day is easy, and sometimes our worries, bad days at work or frustrations will get in the way of really paying attention to our partner.
In other words, it doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner just because you are angry at them today or you don’t want to see them today. It’s a temporary feeling, and your love for that person exceeds the current mood. This is what you need to be aware of every day, especially on the days when things are not so cheerful.
Ultimately, loving relationships are a way for us to transform ourselves, to become a better version of ourselves. By investing yourself in a relationship, trying to find common ground and agreeing to compromise in some situations, you are learning a lot about yourself.
When you are working to improve yourself, you will also improve your close relationships, making them stronger. It’s only understandable that by working on your weaknesses, you will also strengthen and deepen your close relationships.
In essence, if your goal is to have a lasting, healthy relationship, the way to achieve it isn’t finding the right partner. Actually, it’s being willing to grow and evolve as a person. Personal growth is what helps forming a strong relationship that will make it through various challenges.
Human beings need close relationships to maintain their mental health, to grow in all areas of life and to enjoy life fully. It’s the people closest to us that create a support net for us. They are the ones who provide us comfort, love and safety.
The key to a lasting relationship is being ready to make mistakes but also about learning from those mistakes and be smarter next time.