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Home::Reference & Education
Emotional Development and Self Esteem in Children
Author : Debbie Cluff
Emotional and Social Development
Many theorists have suggested the emotional development of a
child, or the core of one's self esteem needs to be understood
and fostered at home and in the classroom. Teachers and parents
should focus on children's emotional development or the
"feelings that generally have both physiological and cognitive
elements which influence behavior" (Feldman, 2000, p. 329), at a
young age. These feelings need to be positively reinforced to
develop a high self-esteem through out the child's life. Most
theorists agree that there is a link between a child's
development and their respective emotional levels. The views of
the theorists also clarify the most influential stages in a
child's life when emotional development is necessary and how
this development reinforces a child's self esteem. A child's
emotional development needs to be built at home and school in
order to develop a high self-image. By the time a child is three
years old, he or she is an emotionally complex person who has
experienced a wide range of emotions. As parents, teachers, and
caregivers we need to help promote our children's emotional
development so that they will be able to develop healthy
relationships with their peers and learn how to manage their
emotions effectively. This will help them get the most benefit
out of their learning and eventually adulthood development. A
child's emotional development begins with the relationship with
their caregiver. The type of responses that a child receives
from their first caregivers (i.e. parents, daycare providers)
will determine how that child will learn to deal with their
emotions later on in their live (Ashiabi, 2000). A child who has
a secure relationship with their caregiver will initiate
positive interactions and respond positively to initiations with
others (Ashiabi, 2000). Conversely, a child who has an insecure
relationship with his or her caregiver will show more negative
emotions while interacting with others (Ashiabi, 2000).
Elizabeth Cady Stanton once said, "Self-development is a higher
duty than self-sacrifice" (Quote, 2004). Having a good self
worth or attitude about oneself can define self-esteem. Children
with a "healthy" self-esteem feel, "that the important adults in
their lives accept them, care about them, and would go out of
their way to ensure that they are safe and well" (KidSource,
2004). In younger children, self-esteem is not measured by their
self worth, but by how well the loved ones in their lives
respect and respond to their particular needs. For example,
children with a lack of role models or a lack of parental
support tend to have a lower self-esteem because they feel that
these adults do not accept or care about them. This is the main
factor which children base their level of self-esteem on through
out their childhood and then on into adulthood. An example of
this can be seen in early childhood development of infants who
respond and attach themselves to the adults who love and are
responsible for them. In the magazine American Baby it states,
"What's usually the fastest way to soothe a crying baby? Snuggle
together while gently stroking him. Your touch has an amazing
power to communicate love" (Wu, 2004). What this is pointing out
is that the infant is responding to the trusted adult's touch
basing its emotional development on this form of communication
and overall establishing the child's future trust and
self-esteem. One big question about self-esteem is, "The more
you praise your child, and the more self esteem your child will
have. This is correct, isn't it?" (Cyperparent, 2004). The
answer to this question is not as simple it seems. It has been
said that if you continuously praise a child, it may make the
child question the sincerity of that adult, causing them to soon
dismiss these praises as "fake" and eventually hindering their
self esteem. Even young children can see through excessive
praise and flattery (KidSource, 2004). This is very important in
today's classroom. Research suggests that we should praise, but
also challenge and encourage the student to take risks. Praising
your children and your students should be only one aspect of
raising self-esteem. The main aspect of this development should
focus on how, "Helping children develop self-esteem involves
listening, accepting, and praising. Self-esteem comes from
acceptance. Provide positive self-esteem. Help your children
grow self-esteem" (KidSource, 2004). A child's self-esteem is
not something imprinted in their DNA when born, self esteem is
established and planted by parents and teachers through a lot of
time, dedication, and positive reinforcement. Remember that a
child, also, does not and really cannot develop self-esteem over
night. Self-Esteem is something that is trail and error for each
child and with the positive help and influence of parents or
teachers, a proper and high self esteem can be established,
building upon each event through out their life, representing
their emotional development. It has been established for a long
time that emotion does play a role in learning (Gewertz, 2003).
Recent research has also shown that a deliberate approach to
teaching social and emotional skills in the classroom increases
test scores and grades, increases students' enthusiasm and
motivation to learn and reduces behavior problems. Children who
are distracted by emotional issues do not learn effectively
(Gewertz, 2003). By focusing on developing emotional and social
skills, teachers and parents can help students to maximize their
learning potential. There are many ways a teacher can establish
a child's emotional development. As we have stated previously,
children build their self-esteem and emotional development based
of the adults who they are close to and whom they spend a lot of
time with. Teachers need to encourage children by building upon
their self-esteem in their lesson plans so that their students
will feel comfortable and confident with themselves. A teacher
can make their students feel more confident by giving each child
a specific responsibility. This is not only exciting for the
child, but it also provides an opportunity for the student to
gain some ownership of the classroom. A teacher can also show
the students to how to learn from past failed attempts (Research
and Children, 2004). In order to make this work, a teacher needs
to let go of their instinct to overprotect the students and
allow them to be creative and encourage any questioning.
Building or growing a child's emotional development is different
than teaching it. Teachers also have to keep in mind that they
might be the sole provider for this form of development if the
child is not receiving it at home. Thoroughly planning lessons
around positive thinking will help to reinforce this theory.
There are many lesson plans teachers have access to via the
internet. Most of these can easily be adapted to fit a teacher's
specific situation. The K-5 lessons range from a "Who am I
Collage," by Linda Bauck, which teaching the child who they are,
to a "self esteem/class pride chain," by Kimberlee Woodward,
which teaches them teamwork and self worth. The collage allows
the students to create and present a piece of work about them.
This allows the students not only to talk about their interests
and characteristics, but also to work on presentation skills
with peers. The chain lesson plan allows the student to list
five talents on separate strips of construction paper. Then with
the teachers help they will be linked to form a chain. The
students each present their talents to the class, then link the
entire chain together. This serves as a reference point and a
reminder throughout the year. A student can always look up and
see that he does possess talents, and so do his peers. Lesson
plans building child development can be found on the internet at
sites such as www.eduref.org/, which these lesson plans were
located at. Another route the teacher can look into is character
education which is a theory based on teaching children
character. Really the focus of the teacher should be to learn
about emotional development then implement it into the
classroom. There are outlining stages for emotional development
and children. Parents and by teachers need to understand these
stages so that they can aid in building their children's
emotional development and positively mold children's self
esteem. Emotional Development is important to understand because
it can really help the child all the way into adulthood. Amos
Alcott once said, "The true teacher defends his pupils against
his own personal influence" (Quote, 2004). Teachers and parents
are responsible for the emotional development of the children
and the influence they share with these children can affect the
children's lives forever.
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