“WHAT WOULD SATAN DRIVE?” AND OTHER UNFAIR QUESTIONS ABOUT S

“WHAT WOULD SATAN DRIVE?” AND OTHER UNFAIR QUESTIONS ABOUT SUVs

The SUV Problem—Hating Them is Too Simplistic

Given a choice, we suspect that Satan would enjoy driving any vehicle with a Burst Into Flames feature. In any event, should today's SUV drivers be condemned to Dante's 7th circle of Hell (the one known as "Yugo")?

SUV bashing has become a popular sport among some. SUVs typically get poor gas mileage, they pollute more than cars, they're more dangerous in crashes (both for their occupants and especially for drivers of other vehicles). All these things are true. But in some ways, it is too simplistic to say that SUVs are bad and cars are good. For instance, how many of us are driving the most fuel-efficient, least polluting vehicle available on the market? In addition, other factors—such as how far we choose to commute to work, whether or not we carpool, whether or not we combine trips for errands, whether we're still driving a 15-year-old "blue smoker"—all play a role in determining our personal "driving impact" on the environment.

If environmental impact is evaluated for all drivers, SUV owners are likely to score more poorly because of the gas-mileage deficit of the typical SUV as compared to a car. Don't forget, though—some SUVs get better gas mileage than some cars. In the 2004 fuel economy guide released by the US EPA and DOE, the Toyota RAV4 had the highest fuel economy in the SUV category, getting 24 mpg, whereas the best of the large cars, the Chevrolet Malibu, got only 22 mpg. The 2004 vehicle with the worst gas mileage was a car—the Lamborghini L-147, which got only 9 mpg.

What??? Is Grinning Planet giving a free pass to purchasers of 6,000-pound gas-guzzling behemoths and other SUVs? No way. Most purchasers of such vehicles don't actually NEED them, and putting status, ego, or macho-ness—or, even worse, exploitation of a tax loophole—above reduction of pollution and imported oil use does indeed deserve scorn. But even if the front part of the Line of People Whose Vehicles and Driving Habits Need Improving is predominantly SUV drivers, all of us can ask ourselves whether we can do more to reduce gasoline usage and pollution by purchasing a more environmentally friendly vehicle or developing greener driving habits.

And now, for the REAL villains in this debate; those old stand-bys we all love to jab at: Congress and the White House. And we don't just mean the current Congress and White House. For the last dozen years, our elected leaders, in concert with our never-admit-anything-can-be-improved auto manufacturers, have squashed attempts to significantly raise fuel economy standards. This is particularly irksome when it comes to SUVs, since they are driven like cars but are not held to the same gas-mileage standards as cars. We payers-at-the-pump and breathers-of-the-air should be outraged that fuel economy standards have not risen significantly for both SUVs AND cars. It's shameful that the average vehicle today gets worse gas mileage than the average vehicle in 1980.

The argument that SUVs and minivans will be unaffordable or unmanufacturable if they are made more fuel efficient is the same sort of gloom-and-doom scaremongering that manufacturers put forth in the 1970s when fuel-economy and pollution standards were first proposed. Car makers CAN apply such measures to SUVs and minivans, and they should. The Union of Concerned Scientists recently designed two SUVs that were safer and more fuel efficient than today's models—without sacrificing size or performance. (See the UCS report here http://www.grinningplanet.com/ucs/better-suvs.htm)" target="_blank">http://www.grinningplanet.com/ucs/better-suvs.htm)

Whether you're an anti-SUV crusader who calls them "F-U Vs" or you're an SUV owner who drives one with pride, we should be able to agree that keeping reasonable style and performance choices in the vehicle fleet and making all vehicles safer, more fuel-efficient, and less polluting are both worthwhile and compatible goals.

For jokes, cartoons, and more great environmental information, visit http://www.grinningplanet.com" target="_blank">http://www.grinningplanet.com .

Copyright © 2003 by GrinningPlanet.com

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Mark is a writer, financial analyst, web developer, environmentalist, and, as necessary, chef and janitor. Grinning Planet is an expression of Mark's enthusiasm for all things humorous and green, as well as a psychotic desire to work himself half-to-death. Hobbies include health foods, music, getting frustrated over politics, and occasionally lecturing the TV set on how uncreative it is.

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