The Patience of Job

Voltaire said, �God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh.�� Translated, if you�re a tight ass, there�s a two drink minimum to read this article.

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Let me just say, I believe in God but like many, I�ve questioned His existence.� Most people will say the reason they doubt God�s existence is because, �If there�s a God, why is there so much suffering, and why is there war?�� Blah, Blah, blah, blah blah� ���

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My sole reason for doubting the existence of God is work.� (I, however, never question the existence of a higher power for I worship at his altar every day from 9 to 5.)���

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If there is a God why do we not have five-day weekends and two-day workweeks?� He�s God.� He can make it happen.� In God we trust, right?� Well I trust in God to give us a five-day weekend.

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Think of the positives of a two-day work week.� You�d say things like, �Wow, that workweek really flew bye.��

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Think of what it would do for the economy because as Americans what are we really, but consumers?� Think of it this way.� If the United States Senate can get away with only working 110 days a year, why can�t we?

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Women will have five full days a week to shop, and tell men what to do.� Maybe, just maybe, we�ll have more time to spend with our kids so they don�t remain a bunch of illiterate crack heads.

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More people might believe in heaven because life on earth won�t be such a living hell.�

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I believe, with faith, God will grant us my wish.� Let me illustrate through the Bible.� Isn�t it ironic that in the book of the Bible where the name of the person who suffers the most is spelled J.O.B.?�

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The story of Job is one of perseverance.� Job is given leprosy, has his family, money and worldly possessions taken from him and it�s all a test of faith.� It is a horrible story!� I didn�t like it when I read it but I said. �Fine, He�s God.� He can do what He wants.� After all, it is His world.� Like Job, who am I to question?��

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What I can question are employers playing the part of God by expecting us to have the patience of Job in order to keep our job.� They may not be giving us infectious diseases but they are sure taking our money, ruining our personal lives, and making work a living hell.� (Personally, I don�t have the patience of Job.� I�m like the Prodigal Son--at the first sign of a party I�m off to the fatted cow happy hour for half-price matzoh and dollar shots of Manishevitz.� If I need some bread I�ll come back in the morning crawling on my hands and knees.) �

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In the Book of Job, Job finally said, �Hey God, how bout a little something for the effort?�� God responded, �Don�t question my authority but you�re right.� I have been a little harsh on you.�� Job then had all his riches returned ten-fold.� Now that�s pretty just, is it not?�

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Well, I�m asking, �Hey God, how bout a five-day weekend, for the heck of it?�� (If you see me on the golf course mid-week you�ll know God answered my prayers.)

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Michael P. Westhead is the founder of http://www.cutthroatcomedy.com">www.cutthroatcomedy.com which features original quotes, jokes, cartoons, products, and articles focusing on politics, current events and life in general.

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