How NOT To Buy A Land-Rover: For Men Only

These notes refer specifically to the purchase of a vintage
Land-Rover, or one built in the years from 1948 until
approximately 1974. At the outset it is best to understand
one apparent contradiction: a good-running Land-Rover is a
wonderfully simple machine, but one in poor condition is
diabolically complex. Why? Because when things go wrong
they can be challenging, time consuming (and costly) to
repair.

Therefore, be advised and observe the following:

Basic Rule Number One:

The older the vehicle, the higher the miles, or the poorer the condition, the more costly will the Land-Rover be to rehabilitate. For this reason it is imperative to have the Land-Rover inspected by a seasoned, savvy Land-Rover expert.

Basic Rule Number Two:

Whatever seems a simple, quick repair never is!

Basic Rule Number Three:

If it’s been repaired improperly the cost to correct poor workmanship will be exponential to the original cost, and ALWAYS more expensive than doing it right the first time around.

Basic Rule Number Four:

A “barn find” isn’t always the bargain it appears to be! If a Land-Rover has been idle for decades you’ll need to spend virtually the same money to resusicitate it as it would have cost in maintenence all those years...or more!!!

Basic Rule Number Five:

If you ignore the aforementioned you WILL pay the piper by the end of the day. Therefore the way not to buy a Land-Rover is to do so without solid foreknowledge, or by ignoring all the advice offered herewith.

Basic Rule Number Six:

A Land-Rover of any stripe can have negative value. Strictly speaking this refers to the vehicle from an investment standpoint only. Consequently...

Basic Rule Number Seven:

Do not ever think of a vintage Land-Rover from the standpoint of an investment, because, if you do, basic rule number seven will apply: Think of your Land-Rover as an investment and you’ll be FOREVER miserable!!! Consider yourself forewarned!!!!!!!!!

Basic Rule Number Eight (for men only):

If your significant other is not 109% on your side in this venture, she will make your life FOREVER MISERABLE!!! She MUST be on your side WITHOUT RESERVATION, or you must NOT buy the vehicle under ANY circumstances!!!! Greater men than you have been brought to their knees at the hands of a perverse woman!!!! Hell hath no fury like a woman whose wardrobe money just got spent on ANOTHER Land-Rover repair!

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Written by Charles Kellogg BA, OEO,

Director of Restorations and Lord Protector
of Small British Vehicles of Inherent Frailty

Owner of The British Northwest Land-Rover Company
Author of the "Prospective Owner's Handbook",
a detailed guide to purchasing and owning a Land-Rover.
http://www.land-roverco.com

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