|
Home::Humor
Mr. Handyman
Author : Gary Mosher
First thing Saturday morning I decided to fix the washing machine. This decision had not been reached lightly. The cold water pressure was weak so I had checked with two experts at work (i.e., they had both owned washing machines at one time or another) and determined that it was a sticky solenoid. I grabbed my toolbox and told my wife what I was planning.
Itll be fixed in ten minutes, I explain as I head down to the basement. Meanwhile, she is looking up the number of a 24 hour emergency plumbing service and entering it into the speed-dialing function of the telephone.
Shouldnt I call the plumber? she asks, making it obvious that she doesnt understand men. Of course, she has her reasons - Ive had some bad experiences. In fact, Ive yet to tackle a home improvement project that has actually improved the home.
But today I was feeling confident. I carefully removed every screw from the back of the washing machine only to discover that it still wouldnt come off. So, using the largest screwdriver I could find as leverage, I applied gentle pressure until suddenly there was a god-awful screech followed by two loud snaps and the back of the washing machine flies off like a cork out of a champagne bottle and smashes against the concrete wall with a thud that shakes the house.
I hear the basement door open above me. Should I call the plumber?
We dont need a plumber, everything is going according to plan, I assure her.
Of course, Im not exactly sure what the plan is. The back of the washing machine is filled with enough wires and hoses to launch the space shuttle and I have absolutely no idea where to begin. So I slowly begin removing parts, looking for anything which might remotely resemble a solenoid, which is a cylindrical object which can be magnetized (I looked it up in the dictionary).
Every hour or so the basement door opens. Should I call the plumber?
Finally, with head held low, I humbly tell her, Its time to call a plumber.
Personally, I believe I was on the verge of figuring the whole thing out, but I could tell that she was starting to get nervous. A short time later Mr. Smarty-pants Plumber arrives and views the carnage.
What the hell happened here? he asks in disbelief.
I tell him the only thing that pops into my head. Vandals. Weve been having some problems in the neighborhood.
Must have been a whole gang of them to have caused this much damage, he suggests and I can only nod my head in agreement.
He continues to review the scene of destruction, occasionally muttering Hmmm under his breath. Somehow, I intuitively know that every hmmm is costing me an additional fifty dollars.
Finally, Mr. Overpriced Plumber starts putting everything back together again until, like magic, the washing machine is back in one piece and pushed against the wall.
Exactly what were you trying to do? Mr. Couldnt-make-it-as-an-electrician asks as hes calculating a bill larger than a small countrys gross national product.
I seize the opportunity to show him hes not dealing with just any goober who walked in off the street. The cold water pressure was weak, I explain. Sticky solenoid.
Uh huh, he responds and reaches behind the machine and twists off a hose. He taps the nozzle against the palm of his hand until a black, gooey glob of sludge oozes out. Then, with a final twist, he reattaches the hose.
Your filter was clogged.
Article Source: http://www.articledashboard.com
Gary Mosher is co-author of the award-winning 'Buddha in the Boardroom', the business book that shows how to excel in today's chaotic and stressful workplace environment, available from Bodhi Tree Publishing, LLC at www.bodhitreepublishing.com
Visit Gary's blog to see what the judges had to say at www.buddhaintheboardroom.blogspot.com
Spam emails More free articles Related articles
|
More related feeds |
Bragging and PT
Not as much as in previous years, but money is tight. I figure $500 or so for these projects. I'm really looking forward to his visit. He is always so helpful, and let's face it, I didn't marry Mr. Handyman. Mr. Wonderful? Yes. Mr. ...Mr. Handyman Wants To Come To Rhode Island (Press Release)
Todd Recknagel, president and CEO of Mr. Handyman, said the company is beginning its search for people interested in establishing Mr. Handyman franchises in the state. Although it’s possible that an existing New England franchise could ... Mr. Handyman Franchisee also a Customer
Goodyear, Arizona, resident Nancy Herrington recently opened a Mr. Handyman franchise after spending 14 years traveling as a software consultant, and Mr. Handyman cust... The Mr. Handyman franchise is looking for a startup in Rhode Island.
Mr. Handyman wants to come into Rhode Island. Mr. Handyman franchisee also a customer
Goodyear, Arizona, resident Nancy Herrington recently opened a Mr. Handyman franchise serving the West Valley. The Mr. Handyman Franchise is Looking for a Startup in Rhode Island
Mr. Handyman, the largest employer of handymen (and women) in the country, with more than 1000 “technicians,” plans establish three franchises in Rhode Island in thre... Mr. Handyman to Establish in Rhode Island
Ann Arbor, Mich., August 25, 2008 - Mr. Handyman wants to come into Rhode Island. The franchised handyman service, which says it is the largest employer of handymen (and women) in the country, with more than 1000 “technicians,” hopes to ... The Mr. Handyman Franchise Is Looking For A Startup In Rhode Island.
The franchised handyman service, which says it is the largest employer of handymen (and women) in the country, with more than 1000 "technicians," hopes to establish three franchises in Rhode Island over the next three years. Burbank Road Kings/Santa Anita Park Host Annual Car Show
The legendary (and very much old school) Burbank Road Kings will be hosting their annual Car Show on Sunday, October 19th, 2008 at Santa Anita Park. They will be showcasing hot rods and street rods along with other modified classic cars ... Mr. Handyman
To be a successful Mr. Handyman franchisee, you don't have to be handy around the house, just an experienced hands-on manager at the office.
|
|
|
