|
Home::Humor
The Back Passage!
Author : Thick Mick.
Some consideration must be made for the many memory inconsistencies of Thick Mick. He does his best!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mick here.
It was a long, long time ago. Sweden, North Europe, Scotland, Ireland, North America and Canada were part of the same mainland. This mainland existed before the crustal plates separated, and before the Atlantic came into being. To give you a reference point in history, my great grandfather was just a young man.
I remember with joy, the historical accounts he impressed on us, as we ate around a primitive butane barbeque. To clarify that, we sat around it eating, rather than eating the grass and sundry bushes around it.
Well, he told us with crystal clarity how he used to cycle from Canada to Sweden in five hours, with no more than one puncture repair kit, and a bicycle, presumably. He didn't have to tell us every single detail!
The roads at the time, weren't much like the motorways/highways of today. Instead of the quartz and limestone impregnated asphalt of today, they had a simple sandstone. Incidentally, this was readily available from Japan which was only a few hundred yards away, at the time. Punctures were common place and both courtship and commerce were reliant on a high performance repair kits.
On one particular day, I recall him saying, he went for a cycle to discover new continence continents, and ended up in Venezuela or something. Feeling peckish (understandable after an eight hour cycle against the wind ), he went into a burger joint. He often remarked "Burgers in Venezuela invariably have more grissle (cartilage, in English ) than venison in Boston (American, in America )".
I'll never forget his adventurous accounts of punctured rubber, mutilated beef, and Brazilian bicycle clips!
How would such an adventurer find time for my great grandmother to be, you might well ask? Well, she had a few bucks behind her, and some clever measures were needed to guarantee possession (old word for love ). Wait until you see the genius of this globetrotter/globepeddler, depending on air pressure status within the inner-tube.
In a bid to "mask" the stench of sweat (essential for long distance ), he used a "primitive talc" powder, or "de-odorant dust". By inverting his bicycle and hand peddaling it, he was able to make dust out of any material by pressing it against the high-speed spokes. The material he chose was similar to what we know as conventional coal/graphite/carbon.
Hence, the term "CARBON DATING" was coined.
While a little messy, he invented a perfect product to "soak" the "SOUP of ADVENTURE".
As with any back passage, more material will be forthcoming. Thanks for your understanding of times past, however trivial, Mick Savage.
adventure@thetrivialtimes.com
About the Author
Thick Mick is "an expert columnist" on historical matters, with http://www.thetrivialtimes.com">The Trivial Times Spam emails More free articles Related articles
|
More related feeds |
Folding Up
After that, it was back up the Sheepskin to the Passage. As I came around the turn onto the Bowest Bridge, I took the turn a little wide and started to skid on the gravelly/sandy surface. I turned the wheel to keep from sideswiping the ...21 Developer Rites of Passage
When I think back over my career as a software developer, I realize that I’ve had several experiences that taught me some hard and valuable lessons about the art and science of software development that seem like rites of passage in ... The Back Passage by James Lear.
But, there are bad cops, voyeuristic house staff, hot groundsmen on horseback, opportunistic chauffeurs and a secret back passage so I think there is a little something for everyone. My one caution, don’t read it in public. ... "In Context" (My Personal Relationship with Jesus Part 2).
But let's go back. We have read the passage in Matthew about the Law. Now let's put it into context. WHO is Jesus talking to in this passage? There is an audience present so WHO is he talking to? He ISN'T talking to YOU or ME or Pat ... Auctions On The Back Passage - Great Deals!
But wait — Edward “Mitch” Mitchell is no Hercule Poirot, and The Back Passage is no Murder of Roger Ackroyd. Mitch is a handsome, insatiable 22-year-old hunk who never lets a clue stand in the way of a steamy encounter, whether it’s ... how to unscrew the back passage of a nurse.
Don't forget to check out the impactednurse trilogy . These e-books are totally free, and are in a handy pdf format so you can print them out at work ( don't worry, its for your professional development after all) and read them at your ... Shall i put one in my back passage?
Shall i put one in my back passage? A new shed? Best Answer I know a guy who'll put one in your back passage for free! My back passage....is rather bumpy.....?
My back passage....is rather bumpy.....? Should i get it re-surfaced......mind you my assh-le....is burning ,but i put that down to last nights curry Best Answer Lino - Fu. I need to decorate my back passage any suggestions ?
I need to decorate my back passage any suggestions ? ;) Best Answer cucumber green ? banana yellow ? Ladies do you like to take it up the back passage?
Ladies do you like to take it up the back passage? or do you prefer to keep your wheeliebin/dustbin or trash err thingy if your an American reading this at the side or front of the house... personally i think it looks unsightly at the.
|
|
|
