|
Home::Humor
No Stars for the Eclipse
Author : Robert Levin
One weathercaster called it a “must-see light and shadow show by the Old Master Himself,” but I can’t say this last solar eclipse was worthy of the recommendation. Not even total, and staged (in my location anyway) behind a thick cloud cover that served only to diffuse the vivid contrasts essential to any dramatic effect, the “Old Master” might have been faxing it in from deep space somewhere for all the incandescence it could claim. Quite frankly, as light shows go, I thought more interesting work was being done at the Electric Circus back in the '60s.
Now let’s please not have any misunderstandings. I’m aware that I’m criticizing the performance of a venerable figure who, over the eons and in every conceivable form and category, has compiled an impressive oeuvre. If I have to confess that a lot of His stuff is not to my taste, that I find much of it heavy-handed or impenetrable (when, indeed, it is not distracted and slack), this doesn’t mean I’ve failed to recognize the enormous contribution He’s made.
I’m thinking, of course, of the models some of His stunning manipulations of the more volatile natural elements provided for the Irwin Allen disaster films. And, to be sure, there’s His introduction of death itself which, brilliantly counterbalancing His earlier invention of genders and sex, forestalled the unwieldy prospect of twenty-thousand expansion teams in just the American League East (and, say, the 2005 playoffs extending well into the 2020 season). But that’s hardly been the limit of this remarkable innovation’s reach and impact. In its absence, "Scream 2," which everyone agrees was even better than "Scream," would doubtless have languished in perpetual turnaround since filmgoers would have found the emotions of fear and panic depicted in the original much too weird and elusive for a sequel to ever be greenlighted.
What’s more, we can be reasonably certain that the popular denouement of the “happy ending”—the product of an inevitable backlash—would never have been developed.
So while it’s often, for me, like feeling obliged to respect whatever that was that Marcel Marceau used to do, even as you knew that one more minute of it and your lungs were going to erupt with blood, I’m more than prepared to honor the “Old Master’s” achievements. It’s just that I’m not what you’d call a huge fan. What puts me off most is...well...it’s His LORDLY attitude. I could forgive Him a lot—yes, even those tedious revivals of His wind-and-water specials that take out half a state—were He less disdainful of His audience, less willfully opaque and ambiguous. I know this “mysterious ways” thing is a cornerstone of His persona and I can understand His reluctance to give it up. But, bordering on the pathological, His aversion to making His meanings known is wearing a little thin, don’t you think?
I’ll allow that, however disappointing it may be, it’s ultimately of small consequence when He mounts a shoddy eclipse. But it’s something else again when, for one especially egregious example, He leaves you to blow out all your circuits trying to figure just where Hannity and Colmes fit into the notion that if you’re on the planet it’s for a reason.
About the Author
Former contributor to The Village Voice and Rolling Stone. Coauthor and coeditor, respectively, of two collections of essays about rock and jazz in the '60s: "Music & Politics" and "Giants of Black Music." Spam emails More free articles Related articles
|
More related feeds |
How Long Until We Find a Second Earth?
Three years later Charbonneau found himself locked in a race with Deming to be the first to detect the flip side of a planetary transit—the moment, called secondary eclipse, when a planet passes behind its star. ...Twilight Tuesday + TONS of New Stills + Hot Topic Gear
So, without further ado, we hereby present the third entry in our "Twilight" Stars Answer Fans' Burning Questions series. Feel free to keep submitting your wildest queries, and look below for all you've ever wanted to know about Anna ... August and September booklists
That is, they saw another patch where there were no stars: and the patch rose up higher and higher and became the shape of a man, the hugest of all giants. They all knew Narnia well enough to work out where he must be standing. ... femme_charmante @ 2008-10-09T23:45:00
Do you ever wish on stars? Yeah I still do…it cant hurt 3. Have you ever seen a shooting star? yes. 4. Do you ever wonder about how the universe came about? yeah 5. Have you ever witnessed an eclipse? Witnessed? Was it a murder? ... MSN Celebrities Undressed for the Week of 6 Oct. 2008
Faster than you can say "Total Eclipse of the Heart," long-repressed fashion memories come flooding back: one-shouldered "Flashdance" sweatshirts, long and itchy Benetton sweaters, oversized scrunchies, neon-colored rubber bracelets, ... Savoiardi, Italian Ladyfingers 400gr
Eclipse Sport Supplements - CREATINE 400gr Sports Nutrition ... Eclipse Sport Supplements - CREATINE 400gr Bodybuilding Supplements Exercise Equipment Gakic Life Fitness Treadmills Muscle Milk Elliptical ... Seeing stars at the Queen’s Observatory - Queen’s Journal
Seeing stars at the Queen’s Observatory Queen’s Journal, Canada - Sep 16, 2008 “I think we had a lunar eclipse recently and we’ve had some solar eclipse coverage in the past. Even if we can’t see anything from Kingston, … ... THE BIG NAMES THAT ROSE, FELL AND ROSE AGAIN UNDER MOI
Add the view that he initiated the merger between Kanu and the National Development Party and you have a potent mix of a ‘Mr Fix It’ whose fall no one saw coming. He believes some people hijacked his project of bringing Raila Odinga ... Speed Blur
That said, stars sometimes do appear if conditions are right. This is Saturn’s moon Tethys, seen dimly in reflected ‘Saturn-shine’ during an eclipse. The background stars are blurred by the spacecraft’s motion as it tracks the moon ... Total Eclipse of That One ?
No--John MCain says it's science. Here in September John McCain spoke about "planetariums and other foolishness." As a purest, McCain is not limiting his attacks to stars like Paris Hilton (who is still running against him and has been ...
|
|
|
