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Home::Humor
Blair Bear - The Ultimate Teddy Bear.
Author : Malcolm James Pugh
blair bear and his missions.
Here we see a Brown Bear. Looks cuddly doesnt he. But that is not
always what Luigi needs in his bears, and useless in cold climates.
Contrast this with Arctic Bear above, quite a large customer,
but not much good in warm climates. Luigi needed a third way.
And as luck would have it, a totally new type of bear appeared.
Unlike any seen before, the new BlairBear.
He had apparently evolved, Darwinian like, just in the nick
of time to save all mankind.
Unfortunately, after several seemingly successful years, his public
mentioned he looked a lot like Arctic Bear and to cap it all he was
found to have thawing snow under his nails, kept under wraps before.
It was curtains for BlairBear.
Its a fair cop Guv, I had a good run for my money he said.
Nevertheless he comes in useful at times on special missions for Luigi,
Like here, preparing an honest level playing field, then shifting
the goalposts, a classic sign of BlairBears.
And here, by day, controlling the sea, Canute like, enthralling
onlookers with his seemingly awesome tricks.
Whilst by night he simply moves the beach.
And leaves a little memento of what he calls his
modest country residence.
He is available now should you want to set up a committee,
or a seminar, or intensive investigation, or a council of war,
or investigative panel, a quango, action group, listening panel,
or even a full inquiry.
It takes seconds to activate these and they last months on end,
and you dont have to comment on anything to do with it
until it is over. He learned these skills from many years
of hosting Teddy Bears Picnics in Antarctica, despite
only having three bears at his disposal.
This new brown bear, the Gordon, is under testing with a view to
full production in the near future. However there are teething
troubles with his maths, and his propensity for taking money
off smaller bears and then throwing it away, or just simply
losing it and having to borrow it off bigger bears.
He also has a bit of a temper if he doesnt get his own way,
and stamps on other friendly teddies.
Nevertheless he looks like no teddy we have seen before
doesnt he children.
So all is not lost, a contingency plan is in place, and in any
event Luigi employs old clapped out bears for devious missions
long after their original cover is blown.
They are especially useful if they have dubious associates.
But is there then even a FOURTH way.
Rumour has it that Blair Bears female partner,
DamsonBear would have you think so, and
is trying to invent one in time for next Spring,
in case GordonBear is not quite ready in time,
or squashes too many little bears before then.
Remember, this is all fantasy land, and the bears here
are all our friends.
Both ArcticBear and BlairBear are sponsored by Northern Glacier Union Co.
Blair Bear has been seen by people
Have you seen Blairbear. What was he up to today
and where did you see him. Was he grinning.
If you saw him, please email with his location,
as there are fears for his health or that he may
run away soon.
email steiffbears@blueyonder.co.uk
Road Rage Rant for Blairbear Click Here
View Road Rage Rants for Blairbear Click here
http://www.stiffsteiffs.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk
About the Author
deranged ex systems programmer also unhinged by an engineering background. over 40 so very old. Spam emails More free articles Related articles
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