ArticlesReader.com

 

ArticlesReader.com Menu
Newest Articles
Most Viewed Articles
ArticlesReader.com RSS
Submit Article
Login
Signup
Search the articles

Articles Main Categories
Advice
Animals
Automobiles
Business
Career
Communications
Computer Programming
Computers
Entertainment
Environment
Family
Fashion
Finance
Food
Health & Medical
Home & Garden
Humor
Internet Business
Internet Marketing
Legal
Leisure & Recreation
Marketing
Other
Politics
Reference & Education
Religion
Self Improvement
Sports
Technology & Science
Travel
Writing
Subscribe
Receive alert message from us when new articles submitted to our site for free.

Enter your name

Enter your email

Syndicate

















Related Products
Home::Humor

Abe Lincoln, Bob Dylan and John Bolton

Author : Roger Wright
Connecting Abe Lincoln and John Bolton Thru Bob Dylan

He gives power to the faint and strengthens the powerless. Isaiah 40:29

Abraham Lincoln had a sinus headache.

September in Washington DC. The day brought news of the battle at Manassas and it looked like there was no stopping Lee. Lincoln's head was throbbing. Maybe writing out his thoughts would help. Dipping quill into ink and unrolling a piece of parchment to write, he stretched out is long legs and fluttered his arms in small circles to begin--looking like some tall, gawky Art Carney procrastinating in a way sure to make Jackie Gleason start hollering.

But he couldn’t write. His head just hurt too much.

So he went to put on a record album. (This was before CD’s were invented.) Maybe that would help him relax. Ease the throbbing pain.

Thumbing through the albums filed in a wooden crate—made from rails he had split himself—he slipped out an early Bob Dylan. “With God on Our Side.” Plunking it on to the White House turn table, he moved the arm on to the vinyl, the needle in the groove and then gave that bad boy a spin. Leaning back with his eyes closed behind the big White House desk that would someday be used by Warren Harding, Chester Arthur and George W Bush, Abraham Lincoln shut his eyes and soaked in the Dylan lyric:

Oh my name it is nothin'
My age it means less
The country I come from
Is called the Midwest
It’s taught and brought up there
The laws to abide
And that land that I live in
Has God on its side.

Lincoln smiled, his eyes still closed, as Dylan went on:

Oh the history books tell it
They tell it so well
The cavalries charged
The Indians fell
The cavalries charged
The Indians died
Oh the country was young
With God on its side.



And as the Dylan permeated into every pore of that craggy, rugged frontier face, his big sad eyes opened, he picked up the pen and he began to write, trying to figure out what to do next. Lincoln wrote:

“The will of God prevails. In great contests each party claims to act in accordance with the will of God. Both may be . . . and one must be wrong. God cannot be for and against the same thing at the same time. In the present civil war it is quite possible that God’s purpose is something different than the purpose of either party.. . .

The contest. {Lincoln wrote} proceeds.”

Lincoln stares out the window on to the rainy September White House lawn. The Dylan record ends, and Lincoln, a weariness now taking over his whole 6’5 frame, forgets to lift the needle off the vinyl; the only sound a scratching of the finished disc endlessly turning.

And to the sound of that finished Dylan record scratching, Lincoln thinks to himself: What if God is not on our side?

While Lincoln sits alone, feeling faint and powerless: on a different plane of time, a bitter cold Manhattan wind hits John Bolton like a body blow as he waits for the parking valet to bring his car. He’s late. He’s got things to do. The liberal press had put the spin on his quote: “If the UN building lost 10 stories, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference.” Of course they had taken it out of context. Trumped up the volume. But Bolton was feeling good. Feeling strong. Just this morning, downing his Power shake, his personal trainer Amber Lynn had told him that he had the body of a man ˝ his age. And as for Amber Lynn’s tan and golden body---well, he knew there would be time for that. There would be time for everything John Bolton wanted time for. Everything. I am John Bolton he thought.

A man who can control time itself

Except for that damn car parking jockey. Where was he dammit? Where was his car? Where was his Beamer??? Oh there would be hell to pay for this. He was sure of it!


About the Author

Roger Wright can be found on the Blog Church Food Chicago. He connects things in strange ways.
http://blogs.salon.com/0004257/

Spam emails More free articles

Related articles


  1. If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart)
  2. If, An Online Marketer's Internet Addiction Poem, Can You Relate to This?
  3. Pee Here Now
  4. How I Spent my Summer Vacation
  5. Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had Problems
  6. How To Get Attention, or: 'As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading!'
  7. Psychiatric Psychiatrist - A Joke on Psychiatry
  8. Computers According to Carol
  9. Voodoo Munchies
  10. Local Author Joins History and Humor To Tell His Stories
  11. The Language of Appalachia
  12. Discover the Lighter Side of the Internet
  13. Military Wives
  14. Marines Don't Take Crap
  15. The Patience of Job
  16. Can't Get There From Here
  17. The Superior Mind -- Man vs. Mouse
  18. Rural Relocation – Considerations and Adjustments
  19. Chicken Rearing 101 – How Not to Raise Chickens
  20. 8 Reasons Why You Should Email Me One Dollar
  21. Timothy Ward's Great Coloring Book Rebirth
  22. Bat Ejection Techniques – Country Survival Course #27
  23. Halloween Howler
  24. Gone Fishing For Trivia
  25. Birds of a Feather
More related feeds
The Konformist Blog: Gaza Conflict Could Lead To U.S. Attack On Iran
Top Neo-Con John Bolton told Fox News yesterday that the conflict in Gaza could lead to a U.S. attack on Iran as the former U.S. ambassador to the UN exploited the crisis to propagandize for a new war. “So while our focus obviously is ...

John Irving Fond of Well-Written Fiction, That Happens to be Gay ...
The National Post reports on a recent interview by Nashville Scene with writer John Irving in which the Cider House Rules author John Irving trashes writers J.D. Salinger and Tom Wolfe, but lights up when talking about gay author Edmund ...

Ian McKellen: Please Don't Call Me 'Sir' or 'Dumbledore ...
And at times, it warms the cockles of my heart because it puts me nominally in the company of people I grew up idolizing: Sir Lawrence and Sir John Gielgud, Sir Ralph Richardson, Sir Alec Guinness, all these people, Sir Michael Redgrave ...

News: Larry Craig, TB, Wicked, White House, Seacrest, Twitter ...
GLAAD identifies the worst anti-gay defamation voices of 2008 in no particular order: The 'Yes on 8' campaign, Bill O'Reilly, Greg Gutfeld, James Dobson, Jim Quinn, John Gibson, Laura Ingraham, The New York Post, Pastor Rick Warren, ...

Suspects Arraigned in Gang Rape of Lesbian in Richmond - Towleroad ...
topics, Jiří Tlustý (1), "Ex-Gays" (56), 2003 Favorite Photos (6), 50 Cent (4), 9/11 (21), A.J. Lamas (1), Aaron Charney (3), Aaron Peirsol (2), ABBA (8), Abercrombie & Fitch (7), About the Banner (26), Abraham Lincoln (4) ...

Brad Kiley Named to Senior White House Administrative Post ...
Bob Barr had a gay chief of staff. James Inhofe had a gay chief of staff. Mel Martinez had/has a gay chief of staff. Trent Lott had a gay chief of staff. Hell virtually EVERY homobigot on the hill has or has had a gay chief of staff so ...

News: Mario Cantone, Vail, Formula One, Sam Adams, RuPaul ...
Bob Barr was a disgusting asshole when he wrote DOMA and he's a disgusting asshole now. I encourage everyone to go read his statement on DOMA. In it he states why he wrote it and why it should be repealed. He actually says flat out that ...

John Lennon on Laptop Mission from the Grave - Towleroad, More ...
Lennon. Thanks to the powers of digital resurrection, the late Beatle John Lennon is back in a new ad for OLPC (one laptop per child), a charitable group whose mission is to provide computers to the world's neediest children. ...

Eleven Gay Bars in Seattle Threatened with Ricin Attacks ...
Posted by: John Ozed | Jan 7, 2009 9:07:19 AM. If the intent is to drive customer's away, then people should visit (& bring your friends). Also, let us be better than the religious right and not point fingers until there is more ...

Towleroad Guide to the Tube #407 - Towleroad, More than gay news ...
gupta is a shill for big pharma. ever since he aligned himself with the dissembling, numbskull john stossel in attacking michael moore's "sicko", i have lost any respect for the self-promoting charlatan. first there was rick warren, ...