Aliens Invade!

Perhaps these different species are going to be invading different parts of the world. Nothing says they both have to start the process of making us a part of their galactic empire in America. It's only are egocentric nationalism that makes us believe that we're so important that of course they'll begin here. Me? I'd send my fleet of space ships to China, get me some good sneaks for my feet - or pods, or tentacles, or whatever - first and then I'd hit the rest of the Earth.

Who says aliens even want our planet? They've got their own, thank you. What would they do with another one? Would they take over every single acre of our lake front properties and build huge, gross 'cabins' to vacation in? Is that what they want with us? Are they some sort of interplanetary version of people from Chicago?

No, no. If aliens had wanted to take over our planet they would have done it a lo-o-o-ng time ago. Think about it: Aliens can easily cross the vast reaches of space, while we can barely get off of our little planet. They're obviously a lot smarter than us - look how big their heads are - so, they could have figured out a way and they wouldn't have done it by sneakily taking over our bodies and pretending to be neighbors, either. They'd just show up and say: "Hi! We're here! This is our planet now. Get out!" In their minds there is something seriously wrong with Earth. Either it's too hot, or it's too cold, or there's too much gravity, or there's too little. Something.

The only reason they bother with us at all is because to them we're some sort of cute animal they like playing with - like penguins are to us. That's why they seem so interested in our reproduction. It's to make sure that we don't die out until they're done having fun with us.

About the Author

Steve Sommers is the author of Breakfast with the Antichrist

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