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Home::Copywriting

SEO Copywriting Makeover: Good Rankings but No Sales Part 2 of 2

Author : Karon Thackston

by Karon Thackston © 2004-2005 http://www.copywritingcourse.com

In Part 1 of this article series, we looked at a local home
security site that had fairly good rankings but whose conversion
rate was lacking. (You can see the original copy here:
http://www.copywritingcourse.com/topsecurity-original.pdf.) Here
in the conclusion, you'll see how several changes helped
maintain this company's good rankings while improving their
site's lead generation abilities.

The Rewrite

My first thought with the rewrite was to stop making "trust and
urgency" the undertones and instead make them the obvious focal
points of the copy. As usual, I started with the headline. The
previous headline was:

When every second counts, turn to Top Security, Inc. who has
been securing Orlando / Central Florida homes and businesses for
689,453,910 seconds.

I wanted something more direct so I changed the headline to:

Top Security, Inc. of Orlando Security Systems From a Trusted
Neighbor

This included one of their keyphrases and also made it perfectly
clear this company was local and trustworthy.

For the introductory paragraph, I wanted to get the visitor's
attention and hold it long enough to make a point: That security
is something you need to think about now, not later. I opened
with the following:

"If only I’d called you sooner." "I never thought this could
happen to me." These are just a few of the many comments we have
heard from our customers in Orlando. Security systems suddenly
became a top priority for them, but not until after they’d
experienced a frightening break-in or a devastating fire. After
these disasters, our Orlando neighbors were convinced that
burglar alarm and security issues should be a forethought, not
an afterthought.

The copy does not beat the visitors over the head with the fact
that they could be hurt, face losses, or experience some other
frightening situation. It simply plants a seed of "what if" and
moves on.

This section of the copy also lends support to the keyphrases
Top Security wanted to rank highly for. Because "Orlando
Security Systems" can be an awkward phrase to repeat, I split it
up in several instances to help the flow of the copy stay
natural.

The remainder of the page speaks to the facts that Top Security
is local, has longevity in the community, is right around the
corner, and offers several other benefits national security
companies simply can't (or won't). Benefit after benefit is
listed and explained in order to drive home the fact that a
local company can – and will – provide exceptional service. You
can see the current version here:
http://www.copywritingcourse.com/topsecurity-current.pdf.

All throughout these sections of the copy, keyphrases are
reinforced in the copy. When applicable, keyphrases are used in
bold phrases or others that include special formatting. However,
I never forced keyphrases someplace they didn't fit just for the
sake of doing it. Keyphrase placement has to meld with the copy,
not overpower it.

The call-to-action for the home page was simple. It asked three
questions dealing with the biggest complaints about home
security that users or potential users have regarding
dependability, false alarms, and price.

The Results

The high rankings Top Security had prior to the SEO copywriting
makeover were retained for most terms and even increased for a
few others. While that's great, what's more important is that
lead generations from the site increased, which gave Top
Security, Inc. a broader customer base and the potential to make
more sales they previously would not have been able to make.

It just goes to show that, even if your site has high
positioning, copywriting can play an incredibly important role
in bringing growth to your business. After all, what's the point
of having good rankings if you have no sales?


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